“Oh fucking hell, here we go again!” Well look, I’m bored to death of switching on my TV and having stories of tabloid phone hacking and witnessing back-bench celebrity nonces like Hugh Grant and Steve Coogan attempting to play Mr Morality; when my time could be spent more wisely watching The X Files.
So for the cavemen amoung the human beings who are unfamiliar with the Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones film franchise; the Men in Black, abbreviated as MiB, are men (not aliens, but more of that in a minute) attired in black clothing, who claim to be government agents – well let’s face it, could government agents wear any other coloured suit and carry it off? Nah. Their objective, for whatever reason, is to harrass and threaten witnesses of UFOs and other anomalous or paranormal phenomenon in order to silence them about what they have seen. The term itself is a generic one, which extends to any unusual; threatening or strangely behaved individual who’s appearance on the scene can be linked in any way to a UFO sighting (and be dressed in black). As I mentioned above, they crop up a hell of a lot in media and popular culture – their portrayal in The X Files is amazing. Take my word for it, Will and Tommy ain’t got shit on these guys!
The archetypal MiB is caucassian; stands at about 6ft; wears dark glasses; slicks his hair back; sports an earpiece and dresses in an immaculate tailored black suit with shiny black shoes. Their vehicle of choice appears to be black Caddilacs, but recent sightings and confrontations indicate that they may choose to travel in any vehicle without traceable number plates.
Their behaviour patters are possibly the most disconcerting and frightening thing about them. According to the numerous accounts of people who have encountered them, they appear to have gathered detailed personal information about the subject prior to their arrival on the scene, as if they had been on their case for a long period of time. They appear fascinated by everyday objects such as pens; kitchen utensils and food. When speaking, they have been known to use out of date slang phrases, but experiences and traits vary by experience. They often claim to be from a government agency collecting information on UFOs; aliens; etc, and they may appear to supress information by drumming into the witness that the phenomenon doesn’t exist. They have been known to behave in both a furtive manner or an extremely creepy outgoing one, complete with unnerving smiles and giggles. Witnesses say they claim to be from the US Air Force or the CIA. They usually produce identification, but when chased up it sometimes transpires that the agents either do not exist; have been dead for some time or have a different rank.
Now there are various explainations as to who they may be and where they come from, but some of the explainations offered are grade A bullshit.
They are NOT aliens. How exactly would an alien overcome language barriers or work out prices of clothing in Macey’s or Armani when buying the suit? How would they shine their shoes without knowing how to operate shoe polish? How would they know how to operate their vehicles? How would they work out gasoline prices and how to use the pumps in a garage? These are only a few questions that are posed by this farcical; arse-about-face theory of the origin of MiBs.
They are MOST DEFINATELY NOT demons. I have no idea where these crackpot folkloric explainations of MiBs originated, but it’s definately not true. My best attempt at an explaination as to where this came from is that some unprofessional UFOlogist (yeah that’s a real profession, I shit ye not) had been reading a few too many stories from H.P Lovecraft and Denis Wheately – who both have been known to refer to “the black man” in a non rascist context in order to describe a cloaked figure of mysterious origin and dark intent – and tried to draw some kind of correlation between that and the MiB. Although a mildly intriguing concept at face value, it requires a belief in both the Christian God and Satan in order to be taken seriously. As a former sociology student, I know that serious researchers cannot let their religious belief cloud their research. It could be seen as unprofessional conduct on their part, and may render their findings meaningless.
They DO work for the US government. [By default, that also makes them human :P] Renowed American UFOlogist Bill Moore asserts that the MiBs operate in a rather strange branch of Air Force Intelligence known as “Air Force Special Activities Centre” (a certified branch if AFI, located in Fort Belvior, Virginia, and under operational command of Kelly Air Force Base in Texas). He argues that their objective is to cover up and suppress accounts of alien contact in order to keep the witness’ quiet while an investigation is conducted into the case; and that the witness does not go blabbing to mass media about what they’ve seen, which would hinder the investigation. Rationality is a wonderful thing when applied correctly 🙂
They MAY have connections to Majestic 12. Majestic 12, abbreviated as MJ12, is the code name of a secret society of scientists; military leaders and government officials formed by executive order in 1947 by then-US President Harry S. Trueman. The alleged purpose of the group was to oversee investigations into UFO activity after the famous Roswell Incident – where an alien spaceship supposedly crashed in Roswell New Mexico in 1947. It has been suggested that they had covered up UFO information in order to prevent a media moral panic. Existence of Majestic 12 has been fiercely denied by two generations of government officials, and documentation of their existence – all of which was signed by Harry S. Trueman, with a distinctive flick in all of the signatures that would be troublesome to replicate falsely – has been described as “completely bogus.” I could write another blog about weather or not these guys exist, but it would be less exiting than this one and the Illuminati one. In short, I believe they do exist (“You would though, Ben!” I hear you say). I also would not rule out the possibility of MiB having ties to them.
In conclusion, IF the MiB are real (which I think they are, but I guess the skeptics among us will need both an alien encounter and an MiB encounter in order to make up their minds), then they are humans; they work for the US Air Force and their job is to keep whistleblowers of UFO sightings quiet while they try to establish what the hell is going on, and temporarily stop media moral panics while they’re at it. They may also be part of Majestic 12. The way I see it, they do us humans a great service! (8) NOD YA’ HEAD, The Black Suit’s Comin… (8)
benk8319 